New Year, New Behaviors

Happy New Year! Like everyone else, I hold high hopes for 2021. I'm dreaming of traveling, eating in restaurants, hugging my friends, and packing up the kids for sleepaway camp. I'm even excited about things I never thought would excite me; going to a PTA meeting, driving carpool, volunteering at the school book fair, heck- even referee duty at soccer looks pretty good right now.

Despite celebrating at home, in leggings, 12:01 (ok- 9:01 since despite living in Los Angeles we celebrated New Year's on east coast time) had a lot of hope riding on it. It carried the promise of all the things that we desperately miss.

Now it's January and some harsh realities are setting in. Covid-19 numbers are on the rise, and in California they are rising at an alarming rate. Plans for returning to work are in limbo for all but essential workers. Plans for returning to school are in flux and are about as clear as mud...thick mud. Will hybrid learning actually happen? What will it look like? Full day? Half day? Alternate Tuesdays? Will I be able to do my job while dropping off and picking up different kids with different schedules? It seems like everything is unknown and ever-changing. The holidays are behind us, the tree is making its way to the curb, the decorations are back in the garage. I sat down yesterday with a cup of coffee and my new 2021 planner and realized that although this is a new year, filled with new hope; not much has changed right now.

On Monday morning I will go back to work providing school based behavior services via Zoom. My middle schooler will return to synchronous learning online, and my high-schooler will start his last week of vacation with nothing to do but play Xbox and argue with me about reading, mowing the lawn, and walking the dog.

My point in writing all this is to say that universally we all hope that vaccines make it to people efficiently, that people make good safety choices, and that we have a little luck on our side in 2021. But, realistically speaking we have quite a ways to go before we are "back to normal." Kids are struggling with online learning and families are still struggling with behavior problems at home- and since we're all at home 24/7, behavior problems can turn family life upside down.

If November and December were months of frustration, now is the time to make a behavior plan for 2021. If like lots of us you found yourself in seemingly never-ending arguments with your kiddo about getting out of bed, or turning their camera on, or submitting assignments it would be unrealistic to think that the clink of champagne glasses at midnight and a turn of the calendar page will be the fix.

I'm not big on New Year's Resolutions. They're a lot of pressure. They are big, and often unmanageable. We often set huge goals and then abandon them in frustration ("no more sugar," "I'll practice daily mindfulness," "I won't raise my voice.") But I absolutely believe in change and learning new behaviors in a systematic way that fosters success.

My practice is all about creating a clear plan with steps that are achievable and measurable, so you can see the progress you are making. I'll help you determine the most significant problem behaviors that are impacting you and/or your child. Together we will craft a plan to improve things. My practice is based on Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and evidence based practices. ABA is all about changing the environment in which problem behaviors occur. By changing the the environment, we can change the outcome. If you are dreaming of 2021 being a year with greater success for your child during online learning and the return-to-school process, or better organization within your home, contact me and let's make a plan for a 2021 filled with new behavior.